Literary Crackdowns

So, a little birdie told me while Kat and I were playing minecraft (SHUT UP....ITS FUN) that a couple of groups on a fansite are making so that people can't even post stories with romance, cussing, nor violence anymore by using a spambot virus. Sad really. I guess I won't even be able to hint one day soon at my exploits. But, never fear, kids, until they come and look me away, I'll post titilating tales for you all. Now, for a little fun.

I've gotten a few questions regarding my status as an Escort. I've said before that I "escort" men. Well, in the broadest sense I do. And it is a legitimate business. It's legal in all states to pay a woman for keeping you company...but not to have sex with her. What are trophy wives if not paid live-in escorts? I run my own independant service, everything is legit. I offer up entertainment in the form of my sterling company for men and women alike who would like someone to talk to for an evening or weekend, day trip, or extended stay. I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY CLIENTS. This is in every contract signed by my clients. It expressly states that no sex will be involved unless it is consensual and that no money exchanges hands. I keep my own books, and the IRS knows this to be true. I also list that any clothes, jewelry, or anything else that can be construed as a gift, is that, a gift. IF a client wishes to give me a necklace, far be it from me to not accept....I like shiny objects! :) I do not accept those gifts in leiu of money for sex. EVER. Now for the fun.

I have past clients whom I have developed...how would it be seen....as friends with benefits. We don't pay each other for the sex, and its no one's business but our own. I know...I know, you guys are sad now. You all thought I was going to tell wild stories of illegal tales. Well, you see, before settling here back in the good ole' USA, i did just that. In Amsterdam! For about 3 years, I worked for a U.S. based escort agency that also had an office in Amsterdam. And let me tell you, it was a hoot! All escorts are given routine health exams. Literally once a month, we all give blood to test for all kinds of diseases. Its all quite proper i assure you. We made a percentage off of that trade as well as regular services. As part of an agency, just like in the US, there is a main store. In that store is a restaurant (not all have them), a bar, and a lounge. Like at a club. Except we, the escorts, lounge around and let the client pick. Now, unlike the US, there we lounge in sexy clothes or lingere. AND don't get me wrong, it was fun to dress up in skimpy outfits, but after a bit, i just felt like a slab of meat being eyed. Thankfully the Owner of my agency understood this and asked me to come back to nyc to be a regular escort, no sex.

I tell you, I jumped at that opportunity. By that point, it was getting a bit unsafe. I don't mean disease wise, but many of the windows and other places were trafficking in not just our services but others as well. Recently I heard, the company cut back on its services over there and moved the main european branch to germany. But thats not what I was telling you kids. Once back here, I started to feel...bored by sitting around, waiting for some client to call up and ask for me or get sent out to those parties and such we always get called for. It was boring. I'd had a number of clients say they loved me, but the services were getting a bit pricey in the economy. SO...I quit! That's right. I up and told Gennie (i jokingly call her My Mistress from that time) that i needed to find my own way. Thanks gods for Gennie.

She made my life so much more bearable and able to deal with. Gennie is like me, not exactly human, but I do not out my parafriends on here. She helped me understand things and helped me find a client base. Here's where I laugh. A good 2/3s of clients are paranormals. Oh, I'll never tell you who, but that's the truth. As I'm one as well, it makes it so much more relaxing for us! We worry when we're among the humans/norms about what would happen if say...we transform (thos who are shapeshifters), or spontaneously start to glow or spark electricity (magus and other magic users), or my favorite....grow horns or fangs and smack our lips at blood (sorry vamps, i had to!) Most of them are not bad guys, just misunderstood. I actually think some of my human clients are worse (remember the guy with the mother complex? Human.) And, since I'm a bonded Half-Demon Magus, its alright if i have to suddenly go kick some evil butt. I charge by the hour and if i have to leave, then the charges stop. Now, a few of these lovely people understand and have explained that they would prefer I come back so they know I'm alright. To those clients....YOU ARE THE BEST. I then only charge them a half rate cause hey, i'm generous like that! I sometimes come back bloody and with a broken arm, or broken whatever and they just get their car, and take me home. Course, I make so much off my Norm Clients that I usually pay their cleaning services. Sorry to all my Norms, though I doubt they'll ever know, I did change my name kiddos. But I charge extra cause I have to appear normal AND sometimes I have to go kick evil's butt then return like nothing is wrong. Usually, I just come up with some story about needing to leave early...family emergencies always work and as many of them think, I mean my escort family. Which used to be true in many regards. But now with Kat and her little girl, I do have true family emergencies. But, my life is full. Now, usually, this is a slow time for me after Memorial till about July, which is frankly perfect...I need a vacay too ya know! So, you guys won't hear as much from me right now. I'm relaxing...in the best place too. Screw fiji or hawaii or anywhere else, Kat's home is like my home only its not. I get to relax, cook for more than two (I do have a guard at home) and have fun just being myself. Also, as Kat is...how shall we say it...the Queen of our court, I do my duty as a guard during my vacation there. And that is a whole 'nother story right there kids! Have fun during the next dreary week....now....off to MINE!!!!!!!!